According to the tumult of advertising flooding the media, Valentine’s Day is a man’s moment to be a hero or a zero when it comes to his relationship with his significant other. If he plans wisely, shops at the correct store and invests significant capital in a gift, if he exhausts his creativity in putting together the perfect ambiance, if he applies himself to speaking the right words with the appropriate tone of voice, he may survive the day. That twenty-four hour period is his opportunity to convince his lady of his undying devotion.
Ugh! I looked for the correct word to describe this relational pressure cooker which drives normally stable men to insanity in their attempt to meet expectations and not fumble the ball. I found a number of good ones: baloney, poppycock, twaddle, balderdash, tripe and nonsense. Pick your favorite.
Certainly Valentine’s Day opens an opportunity to put actions to my words and demonstrate love to my lady. But if that urgency to shower acts of love arises only one day per year I am missing the blessings God designed into the marriage relationship. The quest for love is a year-round 24×7 journey.
My editor suggested that in honor of Valentine’s Day I share a dozen quotes from my book, Quest for the Perfect Wife, to remind us all that love is hard work but the rewards are out of this world. You can learn more about the purpose behind the book from this video interview.
Wise is the man who acknowledges his lady as a partner, who treats her as an equal, and who respects her input, advice, and analysis. (Page 17)
“A man’s looks mean nothing if his lady is a stranger to his love and kindness.”
– Ruth Shepherd (Page 22)
A relationship is a commitment of self, resources, time, talent, and ambitions. (Page 29)
“Yes, I was married four years, one of ‘em happy. For sure, and I learned a considerable amount in that brief experience.”
– Sam Regret (Page 33)
A woman’s value has no relation to the size and shape of her body or the form of her face, and those assets are no guarantee for a harmonious relationship. (Page 40)
A growing relationship, one that might withstand the ravages of time, needs a solid foundation—common faith, shared goals, and a willingness to cooperate for the good of the marriage. (Page 40)
“Love for us did not come from one magical moment in an elaborate and expensive ceremony. Our love came as we invested time together and learned to care for one another.”
– Isaac Desai (Page 46)
Marriage is not a test drive. (Page 49)
Ascribe the highest priority to the relationship and invest time and resources in growing closer. Don’t allow the stresses of life, and there will be many, to extinguish the fun. Laugh together. Play together. Guard against overwhelming outside demands and preserve couple time. (Page 50)
“Love at its foundation is a commitment, Onnah, with lots of unknowns and no guarantees. Mai Linh made that commitment without hesitation, and so did I.”
– Homer Fecher (Page 72)
Marriage, a covenant between two willing parties, delivers the greatest level of blessing when those parties focus on giving not taking. (Page 76)
Marriage is not a short-term arrangement of convenience for the man’s benefit alone. (Page 94)