Rules of Life at Sixty

Are there rules of life at sixty?

The recent and momentous occasion of birthday number sixty seemed an appropriate time for recalibrating my compass and evaluating my direction. At eighteen I thought I knew everything. At eighteen with forty-two years of experience I know I was wrong. Learning continues year by year, and I will confess I’ve also participated in some un-learning in the area of attitudes and opinions I once considered unshakeable. I realize each day how much I don’t know, and my pulse quickens when I contemplate the short time left to complete my education. Life is accelerating and there are miles to cover before I take the exit ramp.

May I share some random things I’ve learned in sixty years?

1. Don’t eat XYZ today or you will be sorry tomorrow. (And that list of items grows monthly!)
2. Never pass up a chance to visit the restroom.
3. Some people will never be happy or satisfied, and I cannot fix them.
4. Take a nap each day.
5. If I miss my nap today, I’m allowed two naps tomorrow.
6. Get comfortable before reading. Falling asleep after a few pages is the likely outcome and no one wants to wake up with a stiff neck.
7. Blank space on the calendar is a sign of a peaceful existence. Just say, “No!”
8. Keep a list of goals, easy ones and hard ones, and do something each day toward one goal.
9. Stay active physically, mentally and spiritually.
10. Take regular walks. Work in the garden. Throw dirt clods at the neighbor’s cat. Do something to get some exercise.
11. Develop moderation in eating habits.
12. Find things each day for which to give thanks.
13. Take time to notice the details of life.
14. Eat fruit, vegetables, and other stuff that keeps the food processing plumbing in peak condition.
15. When the attitude of thanksgiving dries up prime the pump by imagining life without conveniences such as clean water, indoor toilets, and well-stocked grocery shelves.
16. Be kind to babies, children, and especially teenagers.
17. Make eye contact, smile, and speak kindly to those you encounter no matter their station in life. People today can be self-centered and rude. Choose to live differently.
18. Drive in the right lane and let the stressed-out folks speed by.
19. Use turn signals accurately. Switch them off when not signaling a turn or lane change.
20. If I miss my turn while driving I should find a safe place to reverse direction and try again. Panic stopping in the drive lane is never a good idea.
21. Give stuff away as opportunity arises. I am not checking any baggage when I go.
22. Willingly share knowledge and skills when others ask for my help.
23. Visit the doctor regularly, but understand doctors guess a lot and love to push pills. I need to educate myself medically.
24. All women are not the same, and the one I was blessed to marry is a priceless treasure. Live accordingly.
25. Daughters, even accomplished professional daughters with careers, will always be daddy’s little girls.
26. Southern Baptists and Independent Fundamental Baptists aren’t the only occupants of heaven.
27. Carry a pad and pen or use an app on the cell phone to write important things down. My memory leaks like a bottomless bucket.
28. Live below my income.
29. Answering the phone is not always the highest priority in life. Let voice mail do its job.
30. Listen more than I speak.
31. If I want to be a pleasant old person I cannot practice curmudgeon-ness now.
32. God loves me even when I mess up.
33. Practice politeness and kindness, and look for opportunities to assist others.
34. No one wants to hear an in-depth recital of my woes when they ask, “How are you doing?”
35. Forgiving unkind words and deeds is much easier than carrying a load of resentment and keeping the negativity sorted by name, place, and time.
36. Think before speaking. Words, once uttered, cannot be unspoken.
37. Don’t put off till tomorrow what I can get done today.
38. Jump at any chance to work with my children on their home projects.
39. Read the Bible and pray every day.
40. Sometimes the best next step is to take a break and sit a spell.
41. Chewable vitamins are much preferred to horse-stranglers.
42. If I make a mess I need to clean it up.
43. Make certain through words and actions that my girls and the men in their lives never have to wonder about my love for them.
44. On any trip to the kitchen take Shawn’s dishes and ask if she needs anything.
45. Learn new skills. Toss “I can’t” from the vocabulary.
46. Memorize a list of endearing nicknames for Shawn. This gives me a beneficial option when my mind draws a blank and her name escapes me.
47. Distinguish between needs and wants.
48. Take time to laugh.
49. Dump the clutter. If in doubt, toss it out.
50. Pleasantness accomplishes more than rudeness. (See Proverbs 15:1).
51. Nasty jobs arise. Get them done promptly and with a positive attitude.
52. Bacon is an acceptable main dish or side dish. Biscuits and gravy enhance bacon’s flavor.
53. As much as possible avoid negative, joy-sucking people.
54. Keep the shovel sharpened. Never know when I might need to dig a hole.
55. Invest time with children and capture their contagious attitude of wonder and amazement.
56. Doing something usually beats watching television.
57. Listen to the opinions of others and review my position even when I am certain I am right.
58. Carry breath mints.
59. Watch the chick-flick Shawn chose without voicing a monologue of snotty comments.
60. Don’t plan to retire from the job. Instead plan to pursue new endeavors.

Author’s note: My family did not let the milestone pass without enjoying a little fun creating a Sixtieth Birthday Care Package for me. Lots of love went into that gift, but I really hope I don’t need duct tape to secure sagging pants or crazy glue to reattach a runaway tooth. The notebook-sized pill minder will likely become a well-used favorite, though.

I’ll have to let you know about the bacon-flavored Spam.