I Owe God an Apology
As adversity piled on adversity I’d had enough, and in my self-inflated arrogance, I concluded that God was unjust, unfair, and possibly just plain mean for not shielding His followers from all that. The Biblical text teaches that He loves everyone, but my conclusion was that although His love is real, God simply does not, for whatever reason, like some folks. He seems to have it out for them. What had I done to earn my spot on God’s Buzzard Meat List if He has such a list? Spoiler alert: I was wrong, and I owe God an apology.
I pondered over the Scripture references where Esau was tagged as hated by God while his devious brother, Jacob, basked in God’s love. And that labeling occurred long before either brother breathed air! Or Pharaoh who tangled with Moses and lost big time. The Bible tells us that, as the plagues on Egypt progressed in intensity, God hardened the Egyptian ruler’s heart so that he would not repent and free the Hebrews. Did the guy really not have a choice? Was he doomed from before the contest began? Might he be the exception to the “whosoever will may come” invitation? (Another spoiler alert: Much more coming on Pharaoh, and yes, God gave him many chances to turn from his evil ways!)
Asaph’s interpretation of the observed data.
I ran across the words of Asaph in Psalm 73 and shouted, “Amen!” Asaph expressed his doubts, and he concluded that living a pure life and serving the Lord did not account for much. The Creator seemed to heap blessings on those who neither acknowledged Him nor attempted to follow His ways. How is that right or fair or indicative of love?
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure And washed my hands in innocence; For I have been stricken all day long And chastened every morning.
Psalms 73:13-14 NASB
Asaph’s logical error.
But thankfully, the story does not end there. Asaph visited the only Source he knew for comfort and counsel. He entered the sanctuary of God and invested time in retrospect and fellowship. We aren’t told what questions Asaph voiced, but quickly the writer realized his mistake. “I was outside my mind with grief, overcome with pain, and acting like a wild beast.”
When my heart was embittered And I was pierced within, Then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You.
Psalms 73:21-22 NASB
Yep! Right there with you, Asaph. Acting like a beast, a wild animal, pretending that I know more than God and considering myself worthy to judge His character. I am certainly thankful that God is patient with me.
God’s response.
God did not hand Asaph an answer book and explain Himself, but the psalmist left the meeting with a lighter heart, a renewed spirit of dedication, and complete confidence in God’s sovereignty. Read Asaph’s minutes from the meeting. The writer listed the truths he held in hand to cement his confidence in God no matter the circumstances.
Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, And afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For, behold, those who are far from You will perish; You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works.
Psalms 73:23-28 NASB
Wow. That’s good stuff, isn’t it? Can time alone with God really make such a huge difference in one’s outlook? Short answer, “Yes indeed!”
Now it’s my turn!
I began a study, still ongoing after several years, to learn and document what I can about God, desiring in my heart to understand Him more fully. I expected at the start that I would find that references in Scripture about God’s love would outnumber any other of His attributes. And I was wrong. God’s sovereignty is revealed more often than any other attribute by a margin of nearly 3 to 1.
God does not have to explain Himself to me. His wisdom far exceeds mine as Isaiah the Old Testament prophet shares.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9 NASB
As Glimpses of God unfolds, we’ll invest much time looking at case studies from Scripture where God’s sovereignty is on vivid display. He’s awesomely competent in His role. And, honestly, if I can’t wrap my heart around God’s sovereignty with confidence that He does as He sees best—always in love, always with faithfulness, always in holiness—then every instance of adversity will weaken my faith. Let me share a quote from Rubens Ruba’s book, Who Is God? …
“It is impossible for me, at the human level, to predict what good God can bring out of any calamity, but contained within the concept of His sovereignty is a promise that He will![1]”
A better choice.
Don’t be like me, days wasted doubting God and railing against His spotless character. Be like Asaph. Get alone with God, and tell Him what’s bugging you. Be blunt. In fact, He invites us to do that very thing. Let God heal you with the confidence that only He can inspire. And know always that He is God, and He is sovereign!
Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Psalms 62:8 NASB
“I’m so sorry for doubting you, God! Thank you for Your forgiveness and especially Your sovereignty. I don’t completely understand that sovereignty, but I accept by faith that You are over all and above all. Help me move forward with You, even when I have no clue how the details fit into Your plan. I know there are no other options! You and You alone are God! Amen”
[1] Ruba, Rubens. Who is God? North Charleston: CreateSpace. 2016. p 151.
