I awoke from the darkness surrounded by a pile of romance novels. I had no idea how I came there. I did not know my own name. My memory was blank. I examined my surroundings and realized I was not alone. There was a woman in the room. Her maniacal laugh conveyed her position of superiority.
“No one escapes my power. Especially not you, mere man.”
Who was this woman and what spell had she cast on me?
Bit by bit my damaged memory reloaded and images returned. The romance novels worried me until I remembered the writing class and the suggestion to read best sellers and see the craftwork of popular writers. Today’s assignment was Christian romance writers. In for a penny, in for a pound – I jumped into the investigation. Several writers in this genre sell books as quickly as they can write them. Their loyal readers wait patiently for the next editions. I’m new to writing and need to learn from any source.
As I struggled through the chapters, reading the sugary high calorie descriptive language, my emotions cycled through every setting. My study was interrupted when an angelic creature moved toward me. She floated like a morning mist on a still pond. Her sensuous ruby lips captured my attention more fully than the “Hot Now” sign at Krispy Kreme. I wondered what she had on the menu.
“How about a kiss, big boy?”
Decorum dictated I proceed with caution, perhaps shake hands and get to know her before kissing, but love is blind. I was immersed in the world of romance. I abandoned caution and moved in for the prize. As the angelic creature floated across the carpet in the dry winter air, her shapely capacitors were gathering electrons for purposes only she understood.
I puckered as we drew closer, expecting the taste of her sweet kiss. There was a blinding flash of blue light. Tingles of ecstasy radiated to my extremities as a searing pain crossed my face. I fell into the blackness.
Super Shawn and her Static Smooch won again.