Men have explored nearly every part of the earth yet there remains a place few have visited. It is a mysterious land filled with strange artifacts and aromas. There are no marked trails and the traveler who enters may find himself lost forever. Join me as we uncover the mystery inside a woman’s purse.
The purse industry is a mainstay of the national shopping economy. Like shoes, purses come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and price ranges. Every woman needs at least one more purse, especially if a “get dolled up” occasion is on the calendar.
My wife has a genuine Louis Vuitton, a treasured gift from her sister. I was called on to hold “Louis” in the local J. Jill while Shawn tried on clothes. One shopper circled me multiple times, eyeing the purse, until she summoned the courage to speak, “That’s a nice purse.” Men, given the setup, how would you respond? “Thanks. The straps are wide enough not to cut into my shoulder and there is plenty of storage for a full set of wrenches and my lunch. I am hoping for a Gore-Tex lining on the next model, though.”
A woman knows each item stowed in her purse and can find most with one hand, in the dark, while balancing a baby and 2 bags of groceries in a torrential downpour. She carries necessities to address many of life’s critical scenarios. Using the survival kit hanging from her shoulder, the lady becomes a cross between a paramedic, MacGyver, and the helpful hardware man. She can deal with anything.
I am glad to be a man. I waste no time deciding between the brown or black wallet when I am leaving home. I don’t even know if they make red or leopard print wallets. I had to go check the color of mine. It’s brown. I will use it till it falls apart then purchase a new one. I may get radical and opt for black next time, but we will see. The system has worked for ten lustrums. Besides, if I need to carry something that won’t fit in my wallet or pockets, I can ask my wife to tote it in her purse, assuming she has space.
For the benefit of my fellow men, I am going to explore the Land of Purse. I will document the secrets as I uncover them and report back. What do ladies keep in those things? Men, I may be injured on the journey or struck down by a dreaded disease, but I’m taking this one for the team. We have to understand this land of shadows and mists. The future of the human race may be preserved, or at least our own lives may be saved, by the knowledge we glean.
Stay tuned …