Wording With Purpose

50 Valentine Ideas for Men

Heartwood painting

“Heartwood”, original acrylic, Copyright © 2014 Shawn Rae Nichols

Men, we have two weeks before the retail industry’s enforced token of romance has to be showered on our significant others. Valentine’s Day creates excited anticipation for the ladies. For the guys, the sense may be sheer terror, if we are gift-challenged. Miss the event without an appropriate gesture, and we will be in a relationship penalty situation. Our gut tells us that new hedge trimmers or a bathroom scale with 3” LED numerals are bad choices so what are we to do?

I don’t like being coerced to do nice. Nice should come from my heart, right? I’m a slow learner but after 32 years of marriage experience, I’m picking up on some clues. My lady needs to know my feelings toward her all year long, not just on February 14TH. The onus of stoking the fire of love is mine. I have to make the heat happen.

Allow me to offer some relationship building suggestions for men. Some will work as gift ideas for the upcoming holiday. Put these in practice throughout the year, and maybe next Valentine’s Day won’t be traumatic.

  1. Help her plant that garden she has always wanted.
  2. Buy her favorite chocolate treat, just because.
  3. Wash and wax her car when needed.
  4. Help clean up after meals.
  5. Write her love letters.
  6. Post love notes in places where she will find them. Keep the sentiments PG-13 if there are kids on the scene. On second thought, perhaps the kids need to know they exist because of the magic between Mom and Dad.
  7. Open doors for her.
  8. Fix the sticking kitchen drawer that annoys her.
  9. Hold her hand in public.
  10. Help her in and out of the car. Yes, she can handle the door on her own, but you are making a public statement of your love.
  11. Pick up your dirty clothes and deposit them in the appropriate location.
  12. Give her “Fix It” cards she can fill out and leave for you for needed home repairs. Pay attention to her requests. Do quality work. Keep the repairs caught up.
  13. Read a book she is reading, and (try to) discuss it with her.
  14. Watch chick flicks with her.
  15. Greet her with a kiss and hug many times daily, especially when leaving or arriving home.
  16. Say something complementary every day. Mean it.
  17. Plan a simple picnic (sub sandwiches, chips, and water bottles). Sit quietly by a lake and take turns tossing stones in the water. With each throw, share a reason you are thankful for her.
  18. Paint the room she wants to redecorate.
  19. Budget time and money for her to attend a class or seminar. Invest in her.
  20. Listen to her concerns.
  21. Never give her a reason to doubt your faithfulness. Be circumspect around members of the opposite sex.
  22. Support her hobbies and interests. Create space for her to thrive.
  23. Keep her car filled with gas.
  24. Make sure her car maintenance is done on schedule.
  25. Take out the trash without being told.
  26. Dream together.
  27. Jump in to help fold laundry.
  28. Run the vacuum once in a while.
  29. Keep her company on the porch swing while she enjoys her tea.
  30. Pray together.
  31. Step up to assist in preparations when company visits.
  32. Encourage her friend time. Send her to dinner with a friend.
  33. Listen closely to her input and process her meaning before responding. Ask questions if clarification is needed.
  34. Defend her. No one—kids – relatives – neighbors—is allowed to malign her in your presence. Speak up on her behalf.
  35. Exercise together.
  36. Take her away for a romantic weekend.
  37. Be nice to her family.
  38. Show your children, by word and deed, your devotion to their Mom.
  39. Display her picture in your work space.
  40. Play her favorite board game.
  41. Shower and shave on your days off.
  42. Show your appreciation for the meal she prepared. Say thank you.
  43. Call her if your schedule changes or you will be late.
  44. Be there in the moment when you are with her. Shut out the distractions.
  45. Watch your humor. Make sure your jokes do not come at her expense.
  46. Page through the photo albums together and remember the journey.
  47. Discuss the future. Plan and set joint goals.
  48. Share your life concerns with her, and value her as a trusted counselor.
  49. Don’t be afraid to show private emotions in front of her.
  50. Live every day with the awareness that God has joined the two of you.

Print the list. Recognize you can implement many of these right away. Follow through and make them happen. Build your relationship and let the other guy worry about Valentine’s Day.

Copyright © 2014, John W. Nichols. All rights reserved.



  1. March 3, 2014    

    This is a great list! I’m forwarding it to Daniel. :)

    • John Nichols
      March 3, 2014    

      They work year round, not just for Valentines.

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